My mom’s mom had this personality disorder (I believe).  Back then, people just looked the other way when others acted like this. As a youngster, I was charmed by my grandmother.  It was only later that I realized how manipulative and controlling she was.  Your sweet grandmother (my mom) was very hurt by this woman and her abuse.  Perhaps you’ll notice those around you that have this condition.  And trying to confront them about this…or anything else they do is futile (not worth what you’ll go through to do it).  It will blow up in your face.  You will be the bad guy.  He/she will be the victim.  But understanding that she/he has a problem might help you deal with it easier.  I encourage you to learn to “observe their behavior.”  Try not to “absorb” or become poisoned by this behavior.  Also, watch more videos or read more information online to understand the condition better.  Your older brother and I felt that the website invisiblescar.wordpress.com was helpful in spotting/dealing with the emotional abuse in dealing with NPD or narcissistic personality disorder.