I want to be sure of something.  This situation isn’t even a little bit your fault!  I’m not minimalizing what happened.  There are things you do not know.  Just trust me, you are not to blame.  I can take responsibility for my part.  It isn’t all me either though.  Don’t concern yourself with blame.  Just keep plugging along.  We’re getting through this.  But repeat after me: this is NOT my fault!