I’ve recently begun watching Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen on Amazon.  Watching the gallant, yet prideful Mr. Darcy fall slowly, but ardently in love with Elizabeth Bennett is always great fun. He’ll go through quite a lot of soul searching and male conditioning before he is finally able to utter these words to Lizzie:

Those are the words we gals wait breathlessly to hear.  I know I sure did when I was nineteen. But, I had absolutely no help figuring out how to get a boy/man to say these words to me.

And you must be careful, because if/when he DOES say them – you’d better be ready to deal with it.

I’m not encouraging you to avoid love, my sweet little sister.

What you DO need to do is to know your own mind.  At nineteen, I had absolutely NO intention of settling down and getting married.  I had big dreams.  Some came true, some did not.  I wanted to go to college, get a career and travel to far away places.  I wanted to live in a big city and try my hand at being an artist – of some kind.  In those days, it was acting. Now, of course, it’s writing.

Strangely enough, the BEST way to get a fella hooked is to be hooked…into yourself.  Figure out what ten to twelve (or thirteen) things matter most to you and live your life around those things.  Relationships are usually a bit more important to us gals than to the menfolk – unless they are two feet in with a family or beloved wife to provide and care for.

What kinds of things are we talking about?  Here is a list that you can use as a template.  You can add your own thoughts and ideas as well.  These ideas are NOT in any specific order. I leave that to you and my gentle internet reader:

• Work will be important – of course as it allows you more independence.  Hopefully this work is something you enjoy doing.
• Relationship with family (I know, that can be a tough one. I include my cat in this section.)
• Relationship with God (Whichever God/Goddess brings you the most peace, comfort and guidance.)
• Relationship with Loved One. (If he/she’s too high on your list before earning the right to be, you might wanna take them down a notch.  This is about balancing your infatuation for him/her with your self love of YOU.)
• Travel – Day trips in state, international trips etc…
• Hobbies – Writing, Art, Music, Chess, Horseback Riding whatever makes you smile as you do it.
• Friends (Friends at work, friends at church, friends made through doing hobbies)
• Fitness, Health, Personal Loveliness – (Gotta keep yourself up, pretty girl.)
• Saving Money – Rainy day, school, travel, deposit on new car.

Put these and any other ideas you find valuable in the order of their importance to you.  I warn you. Once you start this, you’ll really get into your own head (in a good way) and start arguing with yourself which value goes ahead of the other and WHY.  All good arguments to have with yourself.  And they are a damn site better an argument than asking yourself…

“Should I call him?”

If you don’t know the answer, check out the Sisterly Advice section of our website.

I also figured out that there are several topics of conversation that I am particularly interested in studying and discussing with others.  It is a good idea to be very aware of one’s intellectual pursuits and to explore them thoroughly.   As a teacher, I love talking about and listening to children.  However, as I spend a lot of time with children, I need a break and more challenging conversation on topics such as these: psychology, art (Theater, Music, Film, Visual), Spirituality, Geography, History and Current Events (especially as it relates to travel), Health, Food and Fitness.

So what do YOU like to talk/think about?

The characters of Jane Austen’s world have their own ideas of what traits a truly accomplished woman possesses.  Here they are discussing it from all three versions of the film Pride and Prejudice. What do you think?  What traits make you say,”Wow!  That gal is something else!?” So, get yourself a cup of iced sweet tea and check it out…

Happy Birthday, my darling Purity!  I hope you have many fun activities planned today.  As usual, I’ll be remembering your special day with a nice lunch, a wee bit of cake and perhaps a spot of afternoon tea.  This post will have to suffice as a gift until you can come get the ‘loads of gifts’ that Kris says is sitting in his closet waiting for the two of you. I hope it gives you some things to think about! -The Sketchy Scribe.