An abuser wants you to be alone. Isolated. No one to talk to. Your world becomes theirs. They are the voice you hear inside your head. Your family and friends are pushed away. The abuser may even tell you that they are leaving because they didn’t love you or are disloyal to you. The truth is…. they want you to think you don’t have anyone who cares about you. Because once you are mentally broken, you are easier to control. You do what the abuser wants. You go where the abuser wants. ….And you lose the most valuable what is of the most value in this world…. You lose, yourself. You become a mirror image of the abuser. Their idea of fun becomes your idea of fun. What they are interested in, is what you are interested in. You stop being yourself, because you are isolated. Isolation is the number one tool of an abuser.
My friend Amber shared this with me on her FB page. So I copied it and am posting it here. Amber works with battered and abused women and children. Thanks friend of so many years! You are a Godsend!
This post is for you Prudence, I know you are worried about your sisters. Dealing with people like this is hard. What do you do? Fight back and make the situation more uncomfortable? Or be like a willow branch and bend when the pressure sets in? When there are few choices, I find it best to become as knowledgeable as possible in all aspects of the situation. Understanding concepts like personality disorder and narcissism can help you know YOU aren’t crazy- just in a crazy situation. Dudette! Wow! Now that is sketchy!
I remember once, I worked with this woman: she totally did this! Tried to make everything my fault. Thank goodness everyone else I worked with knew it too. I can’t imagine having to be isolated with one of those crazy people!
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